Joe Still Sucks

2003-12-04

Today, being December 4th, is the five year anniversary of Burn In Hell Joe Schwartz Day. I unlocked my entry from the diary of yore because, obviously, it's not my favorite story to tell. However I find it necessary to post his name all over the internet every year so that somewhere someone in the world can google him and find the truth. Unfortunately, Joe Schwartz PhD and Joe Schwartz Proud Daddy of Four and Joe Schwartz Roller Coaster Photographer are out there, too many for my entries to even make a dent in the real Evil Joe Schwartz's world. How will I ever inflict my revenge on such an ass-common name? Foiled again.

I hate December 4th. I sit and spin in my mind over and over and over. Just unbelievably pissed at myself for not having done so many things differently that night. I think through it and around it and over it until I practically convince myself that "it" didn't happen, what really happened was that I was one stupid girl who had too much to drink. It's like self esteem. A million people can tell you, no, your perception is wrong, you're not an asshole, but no one can change your mind's eye. So instead I'm full of rage and self-loathing and nausea. Fuck Joe Schwartz to hell.

The act itself wasn't the worst of it by a long-shot. What was awful was the shock that came seconds afterwards, the numbness, the denial, the questioning, the confusion and the complete loss of control that festered in my soul, leaving me here, five years later, still so angry at myself that I can't even figure out the rest.

Enough.

LAST FIVE:
Hot Porn - 2005-07-23
Choogle - 2005-04-29
On Quicksand and Hydration - 2005-03-05
Bra Bustin' - 2005-01-15
Fuckhead Fuckers (and Other Happy Tales) - 2004-11-04
Betabitch, words & design, so play nice.