2004-04-13

Oh my my my. Friday night was a heckagoodtime with that smart-as-a-whip lad, Heckafresh, who walks a keen line between kicking my ass all over town with insightful honesty and being nice to me. He's officially a member of my posse. That's only one step down from honorary lesbian, friends, and the only two people who hold that title are Danni (the man with a gay gay name) and Mr. B*ean. No, wait, here's a picture of Beanie Baby with a toppled beehive wig. That's better.

What was I saying? Oh yeah, good times.

Sunday we recorded all day, which is always a big P-R-O-D-U-C-T-I-O-N. Wrong cables, broken adapters, running instruments through ten pieces of electronics just to get it on a fucking analogue tape. Woo. Turns out, there was NO WAY both of us could have headphones at the same time with my dedicated little 4-track, so I generously (toot. horn.) gave the phones to my drummer and recorded the four songs on my guitar/bass without being able to hear a note. It felt like a nightmare alternate reality (What? I can hear everything but the music? I'm MEEELTING.) but then I remembered: that's the definition of recording.

Mixing down, of course, presents its own problems, which I really don't need to detail because I'm already bored, so you must be on a different website by now.

How's THAT for a nightmare alternate reality? Surf all you want, every page is Betabitch, MWAH HAHAHA.

In conclusion. I was lucky as a star to hear both some of Codee Rice and Manboy Reno's testimony followed later today by Curious George himself. Here is my three act play based on these occurrences.

911 COMMISSION: So when you read the memo saying "the apocalypse is coming," why didn't you do anything?

CONDEE: They never used the word attack.

911 COMMISSION: When you read the memo saying "apocalyptical terrorists will attack within a month," why didn't you do anything?

CONDEE: They never used the word inevitable.

911 COMMISSION: When you read the memo saying "Attack. Inevitable. Do something," why didn't you do anything?

CONDEE: That was just the boys trying to get me riled up before my meeting. They weren't referring to anything specific.

911 COMMISSION: Okay, we still love you.

---CUT TO JANET RENO TAKING THE STAND--

911: When you wrote a memo warning them to do something, why didn't they do anything?

MANBOY JANET RENO: Well, I never said anything was going to actually happen.

911 COMMISSION: Are you a man?

MANBOY JANET RENO: The government's position is that I am a woman who looks like a man.

911 COMMISSION: When you wrote the memo saying a terrorist attack is going to happen, why didn't they do anything?

MANBOY JR: I only told the FBI. How was the president to know?

911 COMMISSION: We still love you?

--CUT TO PREZZIE MONKEY ADDRESSING THE COUNTRY--

CURIOUS GEORGE: I know I haven't had a press conference in 13 months even though we're at war, the economy is in the crapper and I totally lied about nu-cu-lr weapons. That's because I don't understand any of the words my speech writers tell me to say. No, but seriously, I can't wait for the presidential debates because I'm just going to repeat over and over how awesome America is. Tell me it isn't awesome! What kind of anti-patriot wouldn't use our world power to protect us against something that doesn't exist while having the added benefit of helping all their buddy's corporations out? Wow, that was a long sentence. Thank you and good night.

--THE END (OF OUR BILL OF RIGHTS)--