A Petty Pussy

2004-03-23

Hello my mimis. Is it only Tuesday? Crimey.

I hate petty, girly arguments. Aren't we adults yet? I'm not a girl, not yet a woman. Shhh, baby, I know, I know.

I might hate pettiness, but you just LOVE to hear about it, don't you? A good imaginary friend, you are.

When I got home from work today, there was a letter (a 2 page, college-ruled, tiny print manifesto) from the girl who lives upstairs. When she moved in last November, we told her she could put a few boxes in the garage temporarily, even though we pay for the space. She threw her shit all over the place and never looked back. Until today, when she found that apparently a lot of it is broken. For which she blames us.

Cry me a river. She is so busy with school boo hoo mid-terms boo hoo easy going boo hoo how could we boo hoo hoo. AND she called me curt. Bitch.

For the record, we didn't break a thing. Perhaps it was her shoddy pack job or the shattering counterpoint to her wicked weakness.

I hate only one thing more than playing the fool: listening to people's excuses. You know, in the REAL world, where I believe we coexist, actions say it all and excuses count for shit.

Who's with me?

So I bitch-slapped her. Here, for you enjoyment, is the stunning denouement of the note. A note from a bitch named Betabitch doing what she does best: bitching bitches out.

I suggest you take further concerns to the landlord. We've been more than fair. You've taken full advantage of the situation, unfairly placed blame and left us a note riddled with excuses for what is simply irresponsibility.
Betabitch

Huzzah. I sure feel better.

Speaking of feeling better, I went out for wine and cookies last night with HeckaFresh and it kicked ass. The only thing cooler than shooting the shit with him was riding in his truck the size of Delaware.

LAST FIVE:
Hot Porn - 2005-07-23
Choogle - 2005-04-29
On Quicksand and Hydration - 2005-03-05
Bra Bustin' - 2005-01-15
Fuckhead Fuckers (and Other Happy Tales) - 2004-11-04
Betabitch, words & design, so play nice.