2004-07-21

Hello, my sweet and icy Popsicle treats. You know how in our last installment, your smack-talking heroine bitched about it being cold in SF? And she alluded to it being warmer where she works in Oakland? And then she lost her mind and started referring to herself in the third person? Yeah, good times. Anyway, in O-town this week it�s been a beautiful t-shirt breezin� 80�. And our air conditioner at work has been broken.

Boo hoo, you freakin� Californian.

Second person? Must be heat stroke, cause I�ll tell ya, it doesn�t matter how cool it is outside. In our loft-office, we are 20-people in a fucking sauna. It�s even got the wooden beams and brick to insulate us real nicelike.

So here are some things that happened in the three days (and counting) of my sweaty ass being planted in my office chair:

• I made a paper fan and played Southern Belle.
  
• I mastered the art of fanning myself while functioning with one hand at assorted job tasks, a la "pat your head and rub your belly."
  
• My paper cup of fountain soda sweat all over my keyboard.
  
• Then it melted plastic into my drink, and I drank it anyway.
  
• HR brought us Popsicles. Nothing like sitting in the Smut �n� Ho�s Co while everyone deep-throats icy treats.
  
• My arm got stuck to my desk. Seriously.
  
• I sighed heavily and often.
  
• I discovered that looking at tranny porn in the heat isn�t as much fun as looking at tranny porn normally.
  
• Everyone went insane.