2004-01-20

Curious George just finished his State of the Union, and though I have plenty I need to do, I feel the need to type furiously. Furiously! RAWR!!!!

First I have to say it was a very well written speech. No surprise there. And I did hear a few things I agree with. I can't remember them though because I'm fuming like a steam train.

Oh, and I laughed a couple times. The first time was when he was talking about the Patriot Act, named with astounding insidiousness I might add. Patriotism, ha ha, who doesn't believe in patriotism, treachery, off with their head! The Patriot Act is a "way for all government departments to share information," or put more aptly, a way to take away everyone's confidentiality and rights to privacy in the name of patriotism.

So anyway, he's mushing his mouth like Mr. Ed, going on and on about the Patriotism Act and how goddamn awesome he is. "But the patriotism act is about to expire--" and democrats gave him roaring applause. Ha! He was about to beg for its renewal, but they beat him to the punch on that one.

I also laughed when he was talking about babycake Ashley So-And-So who wrote him a letter asking him what she can do for our country. He slipped and said she was two years old. That was pretty good.

Actually, he slipped a lot, but it's hard to tell with him sometimes because he says all his words like "hishtory" and "nuculer." The only thing grosser than listening to him talk would be listening to him talk with his mouth full.

But I digress.

He used these phrases a lot: in the shadows (ooooh, save me from the shadows mishter prezzy), character and marriage incentives.

And after marriage incentives this and marriage incentives that, he finally reaches his controlled temper tantrum over gay marriage. Oh no, he never calls it that. He calls it "preserving the sanctity of the union of a man and a woman." He says the courts are taking it out of the hands of the people, so the people have to make it part of the Constitution. The people must speak. But wait, not you, not me, the people who agree with him must speak. So you best shut up, traitor!

I'm flummoxed. I don't want to get married, I don't really care one way or the other, which I guess is why I of course agree with gay marriage but don't feel profoundly strongly about it. But if I'd been living with my lady friend for twenty years instead of two? And the law and the hospitals treated the hot dog guy's decisions about her equal to mine? I'd care.

I guess watching him stand up there on my dime and my country's vote (okay not really, but some of my country's vote) and address the world in this forum that I've traditionally watched with curiosity and interest, to watch him stand there and say we must fight against this evil, fucking Christ, am I pissed.

Dear Higher Power,
Please please let the country be smart enough to vote for a democrat who can actually kick this guy's ass. Please let them see past their beliefs and individual support for the greater point of who can actually win. By the way, Oh Mighty, I think it's General Clark cause even though he's liberal he's all for guns and patriotism and blowing things up. Am I right? Send me a sign. Love you, mean it,
Betabitch