2003-10-15

living large, ladies and gentlemen, living large. i could swear yesterday i heard on the news that it was national lowercase day in honor of e.e. cummings' birthday or deathday or something. i immediately thought, sweet bejezus, i gots ta whip me up an entry lickity split.

though that dialect would make poor double-e roll over and spew.

point is, i can't find a single goddamn thing on the web about it. maybe it was a hallucination, but i will take advantage of my addled brain and refuse the mighty shift key that has humbled me in recent weeks.

take that, ye evil shift.

here is my most recent study in lamosity, as i feel my lameness is excuse enough to invent that word. what? anyway, friday as i rode my huffy to the subway-train hybrid that channels me under the bay* i thanked the sweet lord that the week was finally over, each day having lasted longer than the last. i rode (painfully literally) into the sunset, hopped the train and twenty-minutes later realized in one swift shot of hope-dasher that my green sweater was no longer lovingly folded and strapped to the back of the old huffer.

the sweater, eh, i liked it and all, but the real problem was that in its pockets i had not so lovingly placed my keys. car keys and house keys and dive-bar bathroom keys and bike keys and all those other keys that make me feel like a notable immortal of boundless power.

i gasped, barely restraining a scream and a puke, got out at the next stop and waited for a train to drag my pissed-off ass back to oakland. ah, sf, you were mine for a moment.

i got there, paid the $4 fee they charge you for riding nowhere (aimless riders fee or something of the sort), got back on the fucking bike and rode back to fucking fuck work.

and there, nary a block from work, was a lovingly folded sweater in the middle of the road with a set of keys still in its blessed pocket.

and we all lived lamily ever after.

* the beta commute: mon, wed and fri in a useless attempt to get exercise i bike to train, train to west oakland, bike to work and then reverse it to, you know, get home. tues and thurs i allow train frustrations to seep into my psyche and just take the damn car.