Pop You In The Pooper

2004-02-11

I know, you sweet young thing, I know. You don't WANT to hear ANYONE'S dreams. I sure as hell don't. I paid my dues trapped in a bathroom before school for ten years with my sister while she yipped on and on in between fritzes of the aerosol hairspray.

When someone tells you a dream, they lose all sense of time, perspective of what's interesting and concept of dialogue. You humor them, hoping there will be a point and in the end there never is one.

So let me just say this with as much brevity as I can muster. On December 8th, you may recall, I dreamt I stole someone's wheelchair and drove it to the front of a concession stand to get fries. Okay? That's it.

Since then, my dream of being fat and lazy has cracked me up daily. I can't BELIEVE how debased it is on so many levels. I'd like to think I was just hungry and tired, but I question my whole set of moral ethics now. And when I see someone in a wheelchair? A flood of emotions, shame, guilt, hunger, deep fryers, mmm, wait, what?

Reminds me of my Lady Friend's dream that we cut off all my hair, fried it and ate it. Apparently it was good. Fuck yeah, it was fried!

When I was 13 I got my first job: working at the concession stand at the pool. We deep fried EVERYTHING. Hot dogs, soft pretzels, corn chips, everything. Then I'd go prancing around thin as a rail in a bikini.

Man those were the days.

Now I leave you with this, a male porn star's fully-posable (and I mean FULLY) action figure. Of course, I highly recommend the doll's big gay video "Pop You In the Pooper." The lyrics are heavenly.

LAST FIVE:
Hot Porn - 2005-07-23
Choogle - 2005-04-29
On Quicksand and Hydration - 2005-03-05
Bra Bustin' - 2005-01-15
Fuckhead Fuckers (and Other Happy Tales) - 2004-11-04
Betabitch, words & design, so play nice.