2004-09-26

Hello, my little chicklets. Time is flying, minds are swirling and birds are shitting here on the ole corral. Today, the world's largest leather fair is in full swing 10 blocks from my house. People fly in from all over the country for the Folsom Street Fair, and it is a day that transforms the city. It is not unusual to see assless pants, collars & leashes, whips, chains & canes, corsets & shitkickers, bare chests and red asses before you'veeven approached the fair radius. This year's event features everyone's favorite dungeon bands Buttlicker, Spanking Machine and Tentatively Called Poop. Hurrah!

I used to go the fair every year when I was a tiny little thing in shiny black vinyl pants or knee high go-go boots. We'd wander around, find a nice BDSM demo, line up the camera and stick our smiling faces next to the ass. Good shots, good times. Not photos for this journal, however.

In other news, the pigeons of the Mission have united en masse to perch on the telephone wires directly above the parking in front of my house (did you follow all that?). This means that by riding my bike to work, I'm signing my car up for a day long shitstravaganza. Anytime I *do* want to drive anywhere, I need to first allow for 15 minutes of hosing. Otherwise, much like a clown who's crying on the inside, my car is the source of grand amusement to all pedestrians, old and young, pointing and laughing. At me.

It's embarrassing to me and funny for onlookers when I drive in a car covered in bird shit, but what makes bird shit so special? If my car were smeared with the feces of any other animal, um, lawsuits and insane asylums would be sure to follow.

As of late, there have been a few feathers sticking themselves to the car as well, which adds a nice Burning Man feel to it. It has also led me to believe that the birds are literally beating the shit out of each other.

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks without a smoky treat, and I'm still a frustrated, irritable bitch. Hang in there, I'm hoping I'll be back to myself again...someday.