2003-09-23

Ladies and Gentlemen, it appears I have safely returned from the depths of a corkscrew conventi*n. Please excuse my retarded spelling, but I don�t need one of my father�s friends digging THIS journal up. Lord.

I took a train to San Jose, a bus to Santa Cruz and a bus to Monterey. The bus driver didn�t like to use his breaks when roaring down the mountain side, perhaps because every time he deployed them, a deep bellowing groan came from the buses innards and vibrated the floorboards. Foot massage and psycho rollercoaster all rolled into one!

What absolutely slays me about my weekend is that while I was hocking my dad�s book in a banquet room on a Saturday at 7fuckingam, people were setting up for one of the biggest jazz festivals in the world. I was in Monterey for the Monterey Jazz Festival and all I got was this lousy corkscrew.

Actually, I got a Bar B*y still in its box for $10 at the Sunday auction. My dad just about died. I have indeed tarnished his name.

The best part of the weekend was the Saturday dinner in the Monterey Aquarium. Afterwards I walked around with my jaw to my knees staring at the weirdest looking creatures. People, underwater is a strange strange world.

The octopus had himself a big stretch, curled up tight and went to sleep, snoring through his mouthy hole-thing. He was a very cute pile of gooey blob, which confused me emotionally a great deal.

Got back to SF on Sunday night. Dad took my lady friend and I to dinner, so he�s definitely coming around. I dropped him at the airport this morning and have a fabulous date with the gyno this afternoon, so no work for me today. Ah, I have my life back. Even if it does involve a speculum.